Mother’s Day 2023 I took flowers to my daughters grave. It was the first time I have gone by myself. I sat on the grass for awhile and unburdened my heavy heart. An old oak tree spread its long branches out in my direction. It was a beautiful day and I stayed for awhile. On the way home I stopped at my grandson’s house and brought flowers for his other grandma who has been raising my grandson in my daughters place. I wrote a card for her expressing my gratitude for all she has poured into him.
Thursday I got into my packed up car with my little dog Remy and drove away. There are no more children to keep me there and I was happy to leave a couple of decades of pain behind me. The road was long and filled with dangers. I was the most dangerous to myself. I hadn’t driven much in the last few years and there were hours and hours ahead of me. Not only that, but I faced long hills with trucks bearing down behind, and such beautiful landscape around, that I tried to take pictures which was a really bad idea.
I just couldn’t seem to take a picture and stay in my lane. I’m so glad nothing bad happened although I’m sure that I upset other drivers. Along the way we came into a traffic jam that lasted for several hours. There were at least 2 accidents and a few stretches of construction.
Since the traffic was at a 5 mph crawl some bikers decided to pull over and change clothes. A good idea seeing the day had turned quite warm. And since it had turned quite warm, we felt like ice cream.
A tiny cup of ice cream for a tiny dog and of course I had to have the sprinkles. This time the car was parked while I took pictures and ate ice cream. We made lots of stops and along the way I tried to get pictures of the plants from the states I was passing through.
This plant with it’s unusual looking flowers and long creeping branches caught my attention. I have no idea what it is. Anyone know?
Then there was this beautiful pink flower which looks like a type of vetch, and the buttercups which were everywhere in Kentucky. It took such a long time to drive, what with the traffic jam in Kentucky and the hills in Tennessee, but I finally arrived at this beautiful place in Georgia about 15 minutes to midnight.
A week later and I’ve already started my new little herb garden.
It was such a brave thing I did. Leaving. I haven’t done this kind of thing before. Driving by myself down to Georgia was also a brave thing. I hope that I continue to be brave. This life I’m living, this scary, wide open life, this career, making art and using bits and pieces of it to create designs and patterns to share with the world requires courage. Investing in a career which is all ahead of me and not much behind me requires enormous courage every day to keep going. Keeping my vision clear while creating with brush or pencil and experimenting and learning takes courage. I’m grateful for the classes and courses I’m taking, the paid ones and the free ones, they all help me to be a better artist, to try new things and to go further than before. By the end of the week I also have my new work space all set up.
I finished reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg before I left Ohio and began James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits after I got settled in my new place. I enjoyed every bit of Natalie Goldberg’s book and am so far thoroughly enjoying Atomic Habits.
Thank you for reading this post and letting me share snippets of my life with you. If you would like to, I would love to hear about a brave thing you’ve done and what you are reading.
Lot’s of love and blessings,
This post first appeared on hannamccown.com. This post and the pictures are the property of Hanna McCown Designs.
